Just One More Day Maybe...

Somehow I survived the turmoil of yesterday…not by much…the characteristic response of surviving by a hair would be an exaggeration—yeah it was that close. I know I tested the ties of a relationship or two by my selfish quest for need and attention and for that I apologize--the aches were bad on so many levels.

The closet door is still closed and the carton of cigarettes remains, yet the monsters still peer out at me. In fact they have been joined by a few more.

It’s been about 8 days now since my last cigarette and I have come to a realization…well several actually. The thought process, although still in a bit of disarray has enlightened me to some things while at the same time made some things more confusing. Yeah...it’s strange…and if I had the answers to share with you I would, but like many of you...I am still in the dark on much. At this point, I have rewritten this posting several times trying not to make it an airing of my life and the way I look at things kind of post. You all don’t need to hear that. Simply stated I need to change some things.

They say…things happen for a reason. What...is there some snarky angel or something with a twisted sense of humor who likes to play with us? I don't know about that but I do think that what we do with these things that happen for a reason makes all the difference to ourselves and others.

Note to the giver of things that happen for a reason: For those of us that are sometimes clueless...how about a little help? Maybe a sign or two or an occassional nudge would be appreciated. Things are tough enough as they are. I'm not asking for much here...by the way...do you have anything to do with that ostrich?