Delusions or Illusions

What we see and what we want to see...they may rhyme but that’s as far as they go together.

Well another nicotine free day is winding down. The tough moments get tougher and I basically feel like…well like something the wolverine dragged in on a wet stormy night.

By the way, I am convinced that the world is against me…the onslaught of tests of my will continue…today they took away my high speed internet. Actually the storm last night that resided directly overhead at 4AM, which literally rocked my world is probably to blame somehow. But I know it wasn’t really a storm, but rather the opening of a gateway. But enough about that weird and unexplainable stuff, I think its time that we discussed more practical stuff…like the ostrich that has been hanging around.

So what is this ostrich fixation thingy? There can be several different meanings of course. The first and most obvious is the delusion factor; that I have gone off the deep edge…lord knows there was not a whole lot of maneuvering room to begin with and depriving me of my smokes may have been the last straw. And now I am seeing things that are a bit bizarre, or at least more bizarre then usual. Okay—you can’t all vote for that one yet so sit back down! At least you can hear the rest first.

Now there is another possibility which falls more into the illusion area. The ostrich may represent something other than what it appears to be. Uh-oh—I sense a lucid moment coming on—must be that nicotine gum kicking in…or is it the Vicodin? I guess it really doesn’t matter. Back to the ostrich, maybe there are things that we want or need and they appear in our thoughts in all different forms. Why you ask? Well my guess is that we don’t want to readily admit what they represent so we make them something silly. They pay psychiatrists big money to come up with this stuff. Maybe we do that because we are scared of the truth it represents or the change that it brings. Maybe I should stop using the “we” and just use the “I.” Hell why not—it’s my ostrich right? Maybe the ostrich represents a cigarette or maybe it represents something much more than that.

Sounds kind of serious huh? Well to lighten it back up, think of it this way, for Bram Stoker it was Dracula, for Mary Shelly it was Frankenstein…and for me…well it’s an ostrich. What can I say, I’m a simple kind of guy who has had their head in the sand and finally took it out and looked around. And what did I see…why another ostrich.

By the way, I still think she’s cute…