The Importance of Undergarments & Conventions- A Continuing Story-Part IX (9)

Part IX (9)
Previously: As she ushered me into the elevator she placed her arms around me and kissed me…deeply. I say again…deeply.

Did I mention that there were people on the elevator? And not just people but con-goers of all shapes and sizes. Of course you will ask: Well how did you know—didn't you have your eyes closed when you were kissing her. There could be several dignified answers to that question but I will just have to say no. No, I did not have my eyes closed. It was in an elevator for God sakes. Who closes their eyes when on an elevator? Besides, don’t you remember what happened in Fatal Attraction…never mind…

Anyway, there was someone dressed up as a Wookiee—and a darned good one too—it was so good I could feel the hairball forming in my throat. It just tilted its head in my direction and with its furry hands and gave me the proverbial thumbs up.

Then there was the woman who was dressed up as…well I guess it was as Blade or something (why would a woman dress up like a man…never mind). She wasn’t smiling though—she just stroked the sword that was encased on her back…which I hoped was not real.

Next there was a…you guessed it a pirate…dressed as none other than Captain Jack Sparrow, he winked at me showing me a full mouth of gold—more than I cared to see.

And for the coup de grace, there was the poor mundane couple. A plain ordinary middle aged couple who for sure had 2.5 kids and two cars of which one was an import—you can just tell these things sometimes as well as their candid reaction to unfortunately being at a hotel where there was a convention going on. They were wide eyed and slunk as far back in the elevator as they could get from all of us.

Well when I regained enough of my composure to try and communicate this fact to Trista she seemed to already sense my trepidation and she broke away from the kiss while still remaining in my arms. (No resistance from me either.) But as she backed away from me she looked different somehow. At first I couldn’t describe it but when she spoke it rocked my world…again.

She turned toward the Wookiee and said: “That must be hot as hell, huh?” And then without missing a beat she turned to the woman dressed as Blade and said, “You need to reexamine your feminine side,” and of course the pirate was not left unscathed as she fired a broadside at him, “I bet you don’t know any good pirate pick up lines—do you?”

That left only the normal mundane people to which I assumed would be left alone. Wrong. She looked at them and said, “I bet someone is going to get lucky tonight? Come on admit it, the costumes are kind of kinky aren’t they?”

Okay so at this point I figured that someone switched the girl I had been talking with earlier because this was certainly not the unsure and naïve girl I remembered. This girl was Miss SNARKY, circa 2006.

“Trista,” I said not sure if I was stating or asking it. “Are you alright?”
“Of course.” she said. “The update is working fine.”
“The what?” I asked.
“Never mind,” she said.

I could feel her winding up for a next assault on the poor people and tried to think of someway to not have her decimate them. So I did the first thing that came to my mind and placed a lip lock on her that left her unable to speak. I kept her that way as we hit the second and third floor.

On the second floor the mundane couple got off the elevator trying to seem very cool with the whole scenario they found themselves in, yet failing miserably. As con-goers you get used to this kind of thing and it really doesn’t faze you any more. On the third floor the rest of the people got off as well heading off to one of the con parties—a usual Saturday night.

I released Trista from my grasp and made a move to get off the elevator. But she pulled me back in.

“What?” I asked. “Are we going back down?”
“No,” she said calmly, “we have one more floor to go.”

Now I have to admit that I had been paying absolutely no attention to the elevator keypad and the circles of numbers. But at that moment something told me to look. When I finished my thorough examination I returned my attention to Trista.

“Trista, there are only three floors. There is no fourth floor. And what was that about back there when you said all that weird stuff?”

“No fourth floor—is that what you think,” she said in a purring sound that sent a complete armada of goosebumps into motion. Then she grabbed me and…well…let’s just leave it at that.

To be continued…