Interesting Personal Ad

MAFLV SEEKS LF - FOR COMPANIONSHIP

Middle Aged and Fun Loving Vampire seeks meaningful relationship with living female for undetermined length of time.

Physical description: Five foot eight inches in height. Weight: approximately eighty to one hundred sixty pounds dependent on available food supply. Skin tone: Dark olive to pale. Facial features range from European Slavic to animalistic. Has slight to extended protrusion of incisors when excited. Hair is black and long…always. Eyes: dark brown to a bright red.

(If item(s) above not agreeable, hypnotic capability helps alleviate)

Food tastes: Very specific.

Origin/Family History: European origin-descendent of aristocratic family. Anything else you don't want to know.

Dress: Generic dark clothes with cape on special occasions.

Activities/hobbies: Enjoys cultural events and has very prolific and deep historical bent in education and leisure activities. Enjoys nighttime walks in the moonlight, scaling walls, entering windows of women (when invited), visiting cemeteries and blood banks, and going to late night movies. Great conversationalist.

Habits: Sleeps very late not waking to dusk and hates being disturbed. Likes sleeping on hard slabs (supplies own bedding) and prefers funeral parlor décor. Enjoys Victorian era garb and red corsets. Has a nibbling disorder and requires continual manicures. Does not share well—very jealous type. Likes continual attention and is considered high maintenance.

Seeking woman who works during the daytime at home and can keep pesky religious fanatics away at all times. Women of Italian descent must be willing to forego garlic in all food preparation. Prefers home environments which lack religious artifacts, mirrors, windows without darkening capability and sky lights. Earthy décor a must. Has aversion to sharp wooden stakes and religious crosses. Dislikes snarky women, a.k.a. Veronica Mars types, however will accept a challenge but cannot guarantee living status will remain intact.

First date suggestion: Strolling through a rose garden late at night with woman who has not told anyione where she is going.

Favorite flower: Blood rose.

Favorite car: Buick (large trunk space)

Favorite Song: Meatloaf - You Took the Words Right Out of my Mouth...

Favorite/least favorite movie: Love at First Bite/Interview with a Vampire (turned down for lead role)


Preferences: All ethnic, racial, and blood types considered.

Photograph: Only picture available is from the early 1900’s.

Outlook: Not time concious and will try anything once.

Email to suckthelifeoutofyou@aol.com


Yeah...it was that kind of night...DAY 41.

Hope this brings a smile to all those who had a less than desirable evening:)